


Of Daughters and Sons - Sam's Shifting Angel

by Jenosavel



Series: Sam's Shifting Angel [5]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Children, Family, Filicide, Guilt, monster children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-13
Updated: 2019-10-13
Packaged: 2020-12-14 03:56:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21009332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jenosavel/pseuds/Jenosavel
Summary: Sam and Dean met a new kind of creature not mentioned in any lore. She came with a tale that was difficult to believe and then disappeared just as quickly. End of story? Not quite. Sam knows something Dean doesn't. That creature is now running around with a son. Sam's son.When Dean acquires his own monster offspring and Sam is subsequently forced to put her down, Sam can't help wondering if his version of this story will turn out differently.- - - - -This is a one-off mini fic in the Sam's Shifting Angel series, but you can enjoy it without reading any of the rest of the series.This story is pretty standalone, mostly an introspective retelling of the final moments of S7E13, The Slice Girls.





	Of Daughters and Sons - Sam's Shifting Angel

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place in the final moments of S7E13, The Slice Girls. Contains heavy spoilers for S7E13.

One shot to the chest, that was all it took. Dean couldn't pull the trigger, so Sam had. Sam had pulled the trigger, and Dean's daughter had dropped to the floor, dead before she landed. 

And Dean's eyes. Sam might never get Dean's haunted eyes out of his head. Helpless, wanting more, all the things that Dean just wasn't. Or at least he hadn't been, not where Sam could see it, not until now.

Some part of him screamed, "How is this different? How is it any different than Amy? Than Dawn? Than the kid you have out there?"

And some part of him knew the answer. He'd killed Dean's daughter not because she was a monster, which she certainly was, but because she was a killer, or she would have become one in the next few moments if he hadn't stepped in. Putting down a killer was different than putting down a monster. It had to be. One of those things you had a choice about.

Despite all of his big talk about putting down monsters, though, when it came to it Dean hadn't been able to pull the trigger either. Sam's foot pressed harder on the gas pedal, the engine roaring as loud as his thoughts.

"Alright, fine. Just sit there and be pissed," Dean snapped. He'd been saying something, some reconciliatory nothing about being ready the next time, but Sam had hardly heard. 

He opened his mouth to snap back, to shout out all the things in his head, but he caught himself and forced his voice to be calm instead, "What did you say to me when I was the one who choked? What did you say about Amy? You _ kill _ the monst-" 

"I was going to!" Dean cut in defensively. 

"Oh the hell you were!" Sam couldn't keep the heat out of his voice this time. "You think I'm an idiot?"

"You think I am?"

"Dean, you were gonna let her walk!"

"What? No I wasn't, that's ridiculous."

Sam didn't even need to look over to see the confused disgust on Dean's face. He could hear it in his brother's voice. He'd seen it enough times before to know exactly what it looked like now. Sam took a breath. Dean believed what he was saying. Maybe he needed to. Sam had seen the look on Dean's face as his daughter fell, though, and he'd never be able to unsee it. He knew the truth. Dean wouldn't have pulled the trigger, even if he needed to believe otherwise now. 

"Look man," Sam said in a gentler voice, "she was not yours. Not really."

She wasn't even human. They had the forensics this time, DNA evidence and everything. She wasn't human. She wasn't even half human. No matter how she came to be, there was no part of Dean in that final result. Sam wished he could say the same about his own son.

Dean made a sound in the back of his throat, halfway to a laugh but with the taut, hollow undertone of restrained emotions trying to escape.

"Actually, she uh, she _was_. Really." His voice was flat now, flat with an edge of bitter sarcasm. Normal Dean. "She just also happened to be a crazy man-killing monster. But uh, hey-"

"You know what?" Sam snapped. "Bobby was right. Your head's not in it, man. When Cas died you were wobbly, but now-" 

"Now _what?_" Dean challenged, and Sam hesitated, rethinking what he'd been about to say. Dean leap on the pause. "Oh because you're dealing with it so perfect? Yeah news flash, pal. You're just as screwed up as I am. You're just…"

He stalled, running out of words, mouth still searching.

"...bigger," he finished weakly.

"What?" Sam almost laughed. It was nearly as absurd as this argument.

"I don't know," Dean sighed.

Sam shook his head and changed tact. "Look Dean, the thing is, tonight, it…"

He hesitated. This got to the heart of things, didn't it? 

"It almost got you killed," he finished. "Now I don't care how you deal. I really, really don't. But just don't… don't get killed."

"I'll do what I can," Dean promised, but Sam rolled his eyes. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"It means I'll do what I can," Dean repeated, "and you can shut up about it." 

The conversation ended there, but not Sam's thinking about it. They'd lost Cas, _again_, then Bobby, and now he'd nearly lost Dean too. And more than that, more than being mad at his brother's recklessness, Sam was mad at himself. If he found himself in the same position, if someday his son showed up with a knife meant for his heart, would he be able to pull the trigger? He wasn't so sure.

He hadn't told Dean about the desert, hadn't mentioned any of it, as if it might just go away, as if a child was something that _could_ just go away. Even now he could feel Dawn out there, somewhere to the northeast. It was comforting, sort of. It was a promise that he'd never be alone, from someone who supposedly couldn't die and had been nothing but kind to him. It would have been a lot more comforting if not for the fact that Lucifer had become a near constant presence of late.

A little alone time would have been appreciated right about now. 

Ever since the desert, Lucifer had been more persistent, harder to push aside, more resistant to Sam's tricks. His time was running out fast, and yet Dean had still almost managed to die before him.

Sam smiled.

That would be just like Dean.


End file.
